if i could build a wall

it would implode upon itself
so
slowly
moss would start to grow
and flowers would take root
springing up here and there
and every neglected place.
in the wall's stead would rest
a garden so unimaginably quaint and flourishing
even i wouldn't recognize it.

the wall would be broken and left to surprise and delight would be nothing
but beauty.



as i break down my wall
this moss creeps in.
and it is lovely.

move the soul

music that moves the soul

moves your ears

makes you twitch

deep in a place you didn't know needed to be tilled.

forges the bridge between the tapping and the incessant yapping and the clatter and bang of the daily cup o' joe that runs all over the television.

this noise is different.  it makes you stop tapping your foot, chawing that gum and flipping through texts out of boredom. 

everything around you seems to be happening in slow motion.  the noise is broken and a pure picture of beauty streams into your ears.  the way you have dreamed of love.

the play you have longed for is in your very being, the balance between rightness and honesty.  pain and truth,  interwoven as friends and enemies.  twine of the tiniest form, snakes it's way into your vision.

the reality possible if everyone heard.  if everyone knew this.

music is too simple a word.

exquisite sound and emotion.

ahhh.

breathe that in.

stop doing nothing and give your attention to the change that is before you.  in you.  right now.

over under all around

hello world.

i am over
under
all around
whelmed.

surrounded all at once, almost in an intentional effort to undermine me living a quiet life. to upset the balance of quiet and comfort and hovering on the verge of committing. to something. to love. to loving something, besides myself.

you are asking me to come early to work and wash the dishes by hand because the dishwasher is broken again for the thousandth time. and not complain, but have joy in my heart.
you are asking me to give of my time when i feel i have the smallest amount of it, when i want to hoard it the most.
asking me to love the way your heart beats so different from mine, but love the way you paid close attention in making mine as well.
pleading with my soul to listen to the message you sing to me all day long. the words without speaking. utter.a.sigh.of.anguish.
the movement in my body as i walk with defiance, you ask me to give it up. to give you my anger, to share it with you. you are complete to handle me.
the walls i put up when i am most afraid. afraid of letting fear make my decisions. you ask me to open my fist of anger, to empty myself of it. just stop building the wall, this foundation of sand. stop.
the digging i do when it is me that is hurting, the hurting i unload on others. i have no right, you ask me to grab hold of grace. for them, for myself.
the way you ask me. god? it is like asking the moon to move over a little so more stars can join in it's path of brilliance. listen to the lord god, foolish moon! he created you! he loves you! you cannot see the brilliance until you get out of the way! it is a breath, a whisper, a SHAKE, a laugh, a gesture, a breeze. it is like the hardest thing i have ever heard. love is painful. but love is the only way.

you are asking me. you.are.love.