right now
i am fully satisfied rocking
down the road
nodding my head
and scooping shoulders and shoving my neck this way
and that.
the music within and around isn't always the beat i want
but somehow, it morphs from the horrible
and tragic to the shared
pain of beauty that this road always holds.
turns into
curves into
the celebration that is the moment you get the call
or read those words that make you want to weep with relief
even though you're not a cry-er.
these things outweigh the negative
10 to 1.
or at least, keep you rocking down the road, not hoping for the end or when you have
figured it all out and can control yourself at all times
and always say the right things
and think the right things
and never hesitate when you hit someone's parked car to leave your info on their window.
but keep pushing on to the everyday, because it is in that we learn
i learn
to lean
into the things that really matter
not traffic and money and being on time for everything,
because sometimes it's when you're on the back burner and walking 2 miles in three inch wedges
when you find it.
that spot. the one by the railroad tracks with the gorgeous sunflowers and beaming rails waiting for you
just there
around the bend.
today. when you weren't even looking for it, and you were hot and cranky and stressed. but it was perfect before you. and after you. and with you.
like god, like little bits of god. sunshine rain.
