february

sometimes

when you feel just

blah

you remember the way you felt when you tossed the covers aside that morning.

and that feels good.

it feels better.

i want to live the

fresh

zest

sustenance 

each blah,

i want to savor the sunshine and the breeze and a friend to talk to who is listening.

i want to draw with chalk on the sidewalk for no reason and take my time.  i want to love what i do and who i have become and accept the things people compliment me on.

i want to work so hard on myself that i never stop

but stop

to stop

and see

this moment.

hope

opportunities,

grace.

pull back those covers, there is so much more.

desperation

there is nothing

so

refreshing

as true

desperation.

for you

for truth

love

forgiveness

grace

peace

moving on

moving forward.

i am getting over this stuck

rut

place of similarity

of over

a 

year

over

a

lifetime

of

wrongness.

done shoving a square peg into

a round hole.  like a frustrated toddler with a difficult puzzle piece.  

i am giving the pieces back to you father.

the pieces of my puzzleheart.

i am 

i am

desperate for this breath of fresh breath that you have given me

i take it with joy!

home at myself, home at you, home at heaven's window.

your love, the greatest risk of all gave me this hope

anew.

an old.

love is coming.

i will wait for it.

you have made me to wait for it, created me for this struggle.  i pull in.

desperate.  loving your freshness, your life.  

love.