rain

when the things you feel are
so right
so atypical
and you know you are at peace
step into it.

when the people seem so full
and angry all the time
so very much unrest
step into it.

when your fear grabs your throat
you can't shake it with your
might
step into it.

for these things are all
temporal and the goodness shall not last
nor the darkness and the shadows
step into it.
rain beats a new drum, an old drum.  one that will not end
rain
rain
on this dry soul.

visit

it is as if i have left
never
to return
for a very serious face has turned mine
that says i cannot live like this any longer.
i was created for something less than a lie.
something only the truth can bare.
always the truth was there before the lie, only listen.
as promiscuous as the time has become
there is a place for me in the erie silence of
breathtaking trust.
for when i do less
i do less.
and when i do less
he does more.

dry spell

crackle

and spackle

when you just can't stop to breathe

spit

fire

and roll on the ground

for when you can't blink you need not hesitate

halt and lay down

lay it all down.

take a nap, take a rest, take a break.

rest up in the warm covers and the security that

god's got your back

and your front and your everything uncertain.

he's in the picture, he is the picture.

lord, when all i can think about are my failures you give me rest, peace, persuade me yet again with just a glance

that i am not lovely because of what i do. no not in the least.

i am loved by you and created to bring all that you have shoved in my soul to life simply because of what you are.

this war that wages in the blink of an eye in the conflict of middle battleground ceases when i drop my gun and raise my surrender

for you are always ready to jump in my stead

lead me away from the middle and give me perspective.

let the things i think on be noble and pure and a delight to your eyes, god. all of them.

i think,

therefore i am.

promise me this dry spell won't last, father. whatever it is, just promise me you'll be here speaking still.

promise.

day two

twirling with delight

at the wonder of movement.

the freedom escapes our fingers and ankles and heads thrown back in joy, utterly at peace with ourselves.

how can we all be such strangers together?

where is the harsh unfamiliarity of the everyday, the everyman?  gone. outside.  where there is no

dancing.

desperation

there is nothing

so

refreshing

as true

desperation.

for you

for truth

love

forgiveness

grace

peace

moving on

moving forward.

i am getting over this stuck

rut

place of similarity

of over

a 

year

over

a

lifetime

of

wrongness.

done shoving a square peg into

a round hole.  like a frustrated toddler with a difficult puzzle piece.  

i am giving the pieces back to you father.

the pieces of my puzzleheart.

i am 

i am

desperate for this breath of fresh breath that you have given me

i take it with joy!

home at myself, home at you, home at heaven's window.

your love, the greatest risk of all gave me this hope

anew.

an old.

love is coming.

i will wait for it.

you have made me to wait for it, created me for this struggle.  i pull in.

desperate.  loving your freshness, your life.  

love.

a kiss

grace in weakness, in everything.
faith that something
capable, all-knowing, a soul of infinite depth
has my soul
in their hands. intercedes on my behalf with groanings beyond utterance.

these are the things that i need. this is the way.


the greatest of these is love. faith, hope, and peace. the greatest. that is no suggestion, the statement that the best, the biggest, most permanent way to actually live is to love. to love beyond the call of desire. to love when i have nothing left to give, to open my soul so that the love of the father can flow through me to truly love god, others, myself. to love. period. like a kiss. a connection i know nothing about, but seems a promise, a desire to give. to take. to learn.

what is sacred anymore? what is left under the sun? nothing new.

honor thy father and mother. honor thy teacher, thy stranger, thy friend, thy lover. honor. respect and esteem one another.




the greatest of these is love. faith, hope and peace.
i pray for love.
i pray for faith.
i pray for hope.
i pray for peace.
i pray. prayer is the power of friendship and love between us, the communication i so often ignore. you are whispering to me in everything. sometimes shouting. i whisper back. or shout. but sometimes i do not listen. sometimes i do not see.
i will pray.
because he loves me.
he. loves. me.
jesus open my eyes, push me
in front of a bus
shove flowers under my nose,
wake me up!
i want to live in the world you are in. jesus, your love is the most wordless thing i have ever felt, it is indescribable. i want my love to be like you.without grounding or sensibility.without selfish desire to have it returned.you give without condition.bike gangs, jesus will you be in my bike gang?teach me to bike slower so that i can be with my friends, BE with my friends and strangers.i feel your heart in this father, the selfishness in my heart desires to be the fastest, to be the best.it kills love.KILLS it.father, let me be the slowest and let my pride die daily.i want to love you more.and them.