the itch

to run and hide

to speak real loud

throw caution to the wind and just

give in

follow whatever it is that i want to do

without thinking.

or sometimes, when the mood is right

to look left and back to see

that the itch is fine and good

and

GO!

this feeling of wildness comes over me, this abandon to all things polite and boring.

to run into the unknown and relish it, envelop the minutes without hesitation.

for tonight is the night i want to dance long and loud and crazy and well

without regret.

it is not bad or ugly or wrong.

it is of beauty and truth that the things we can take, the things we can touch are of no consequence in the end.

only that which comes from within.

customized birthday books and the growth of toddlers

tonight i was part of a miracle

and i didn't even know it.

i was baby sitting for three kids i have sat for since the girls were 6 weeks old.

yes, i know i talk about them all the time, give me a break.  if you knew them you would too.

anyway, i taught them something, and it was a complete miracle.

to be witness to this growth and yet the initiator, the one who requested something specific of them, and to see it contemplated and then performed impacted me in a way i can only describe as

intensely beautiful.

it was remarkable!  to watch these girls, who have been part of the world 2 short years, learn something before my very eyes, and showcase their personalities and individual ideas at the same time, well i could talk about it all night.  i mean,

kids

people

we

are genius.

get them dance classes!  ap everything!  organic 24/7!  freedom in all pursuits!

let them live!

i beg you this one thing; just let me be part of it.

day two

twirling with delight

at the wonder of movement.

the freedom escapes our fingers and ankles and heads thrown back in joy, utterly at peace with ourselves.

how can we all be such strangers together?

where is the harsh unfamiliarity of the everyday, the everyman?  gone. outside.  where there is no

dancing.

dance

if i

when i

let it go

flow

slo-mo

fancy-o 

tight and loose

hips and wrists and loving all the moves i didn't

know i had.  when i let go

stop caring what i look like compared to my friends

all the strangers around me making their bodies move to 

a beat i haven't chosen, don't enjoy.

stop thinking about who is watching me and start digging in to the music, responding to the moment, the freedom coursing with the sweat and the inhibition.

of this dance

this rhythm

where i make the rules, my knees make the dips and my back shows it's skillz.

yes.

i can't dance like some, but i can dance like me.

and i love it.