the room

the room is endless and narrow

i feel the ceiling looking at me

this way is the only way to go

forward.

i have paused.

for far too long.

in front of a closed door

again.

why can't it be open?

why can't it be another door?

why can't it be a long time ago?

these doors are everywhere

they are all shut.

shit.

well, hm.

i will have to keep walking then.

because actually,

i want the door to swing open to ME

when i am not stopped

waiting

waiting

forever

staring

i want the air in the room

the light in the room

to GUSH with change and brillance

and fresh breath.

as the one opens!

to come chasing after me!

oh yes.

and i know it in my bones,

i have always known it will be so.

this room is long and wide open, carefree onwards saunter i.

allowed

allow yourself to hope.

for that day when you will go on a hike

with your husband and toddler.

allow yourself to hope.

for the moment when you realize your

fears won't be.

allow yourself to hope.

for the time when you show up with

someone else

no longer empty handed.

allow yourself to hope, filkins, because it won't be forever that you are here. and it hurts either way. let love in. let hope begin. let it stay.

crack open november

and let it breathe. like this book sitting in my hands

on my heart

written by one i know.

show me a part of your soul i can't handle and make it move the ground

this place is a new one

eager am i to turn off replay

and shove my depths into concentrating on your words.

a book is a feast for many enjoyed one at a time and spared not in the cloaked words of the past and present and future.

for this time is one we all will share and live through.

the tunnel narrows.

i turn off the computer.

and delve into the paper and ink.

oh, delicious.