shutter

whisp and whir the afternoon

clicking by the moments roll onto

a roll

and capture all the feelings in my fingertips

which sizzle with excitement

jumping the gun and proving

the point

and click!

the deed is done.

but what if i have done it wrong?

forgotten a smidgen of detail vital to the snip

of a slip

of a shoe sideways on concrete

in the evening crescent?

shore 'nuff the lessons

i've learned like a lurching car

sticking and grabbing the gears

just feel it up

feel it out

these moments will mesh

you just 

wait

and see.

fly

but this is so much different from what

everyone else tells me, responds with.

i am not sure that this is even the 

best thing for my

weak heart

i can't take it.

because of that, i am sure it is.

fly melissa, she says

what do we have left if we hoard our

hearts?

is that what life is about?

saving the scraps?  getting something back?

shoot, it's the experience

stop trying to figure out what everything is for and

be in it.

making everything just so, so right and so purposeful for 

what you do not know

like the leaves growing upward on a tree, defying the odds of smidgets and winks of sun

pushing to live, taking any little bit they can

i should not be so afraid of living with my heart outside my chest.  seem so confident but too

scared. 

my friend sandra says

no no no

it is much better

to fly

than to doubt.

and she is righter than i have ever been.

the coop holds no promises

but then

neither does the sun.

don't hate on the mornings

those i criticizejudge

exhibit weaknesses i despise in myself.

this pithy insecurity is never

never

worth it.

if i would realize the mornings are worth my time

my sacrifice

for they never disappoint

i would see the beauty in the tones of our skin.

forever have i languished in this tropic of complainsville

and let my mind dwindle on the scores of rust eves

when i waste one more hour on the computer

and ignore entirely the skies begging me to sleep.

for tomorrow's morning glow beckons

me to join.

to see.

be

live

fresh again to start the day with gray

then flamingo pink and finally brilliant orangered

to blast away all that doesn't matter

like the gavel and the spitfire.

participate

in the awe

of morning.

the woods

you've led me into

this thicket of poison

and bear traps under 

every root and leaf

i have never felt more

safe as your hand holds mine.

the look in your heart is kind

eyes behold best intentions

and yours are pure.

from every bush comes 

noises i have heard 

that chilled me to the

bone.  but you have led me

here.

three strands

sisters

not easily broken.

shards of a whole

but whole in each

the greatest of these

remain

faith

hope

love.

bring me your tired, your weak

show them my sisters and they will find

within themselves

a love for the dysfunction of their family

as i love mine.

all of us shards

splintered and broken

into tiny pieces of a whole

we are whole

when we are with 

those who know us best.

all one river, one pack, one nation, one family.  

no one looks the same inside

when beauty comes from every corner.

take the time to hear me

hear you

hear the silent sweep of arms pulling us all in

to an embrace

of pain needing comfort

echoing another's thoughts

questioning the caveats and crevices

shallow souls need not enter

for family abounds

if you will shift to give and take.

all of us broken

left hopin'

three strands or one

we never stand alone.

untitled because that sounds good

when i feel fraught

and caught

up 

in the airs

of indecision

or desparation

the only thing to do is fly.

away with it all

and turn the wind into music

to float upon as i find my bow

and pick,

fumble for my tuner

and look to the sun 

for inspiration

on what to play.

may day

oh may day

the rain has fallen light.

the chicks have all just hatched!

leaves unfurled and greet the sky with smiles

breathe deep and swift, pull all of you in 

for the may of this day is strong.

fleeting.

hold on

to this new hope.