blatant disregard

we all think we have a shred
of control. we know it's impossible to
cling
regain
have.
but the shroud that covers our reality
let's us sit more comfortably
in the idea
that we have one
solitary bit of it that no one can take.

this falsified notion clouds our thinking
just enough to make the mundane everyday palatable.

then something happens that tears the shroud and pulls the cataracts out
to show
we can not protect ourselves, our loved ones, our fellow bus riders or strangers at the mall.
we are all a part of the lie
because on the other side of this darkness stands truth.
that we are our own solution.
and we have been given the tools to love,
to show regard and investment in our fellow humans.
for this blatant lack of interest in anyone beyond our own pain will be our undoing.

the world can hear it, because it is inside you.
we are all here together.
stand with me now,
fear and truth hold hands with love.

glacier

watch me crack
watch in silent fascination
as my core breaks
into millions of pieces from the deep.
waters churning that have been dormant for
an age.

watch me.
crevices recently memorized
no longer familiar
as they
disappear behind the
new faces
and they go too.

how quickly an eon
can extinct. with so few observers
in it's home.

nature. or grace.
both.

have it all

sometimes I dream of a place
where
you and I
exist
while also
existing
here.
it makes me sad to realize upon waking that we cannot have both.
for when we are together we are no longer ourselves
but us.
and then it makes me happy to realize
we can be both.

upon waking, I realize.

for the time is now

forgive me for my fears they speak
so loudly in all I do
right now
this outburst it isn't me
that you see
but my night terrors
so dark
I can only cling to the scrap of
light
furthest away I can see
that they might in fact, be untrue.

you are real.
so am I.
we.
but the distance and newness makes all this
goodness seem a figment of my imagination
most unkind
rather than the purest truth I have known;
part of me that I met
with you.

venture further with me down this path of unknowing and hold my hand.
we will let go as we find ourselves in this bigger painting,
all the paths we must take alone
as they are part of who we are separate,
joined.

I am learning.
be patient with this new love, my love.
draw a space for me
right next to fear
and be assured
I will choose love every time.
synonym:
LIFE.