so cruel, like a joke that's not kidding.
no warning, no permission granted, but it sears just the same.
my head throbs and my nerves squeal
cease and desist!
i give uuuuuuuup.
i can't handle this, god!
is what i yell through the most honest, unstoppable tears i have dropped in years.
the flood comes, night after painful night, when i haven't even wanted it, worked for it, sought it out.
this water falling from my eyes belies a heart fresh in healing from pain just as severe.
a root canal can fix only one of these things, and that is unfortunate
but bliss in the end.
because if i could, go to the doctor, and have him fix everything wrong with me
and get a prescription to kill this, numb it, i wouldn't. no, because he can only know so much, you see
and i need to know all
before i can fix it.
i can really only hold it together with band-aids and wishes
that god will hold me tight in the palm of his soul and protect me when the wave threatens again
in the middle of the night
i didn't ask for, but have and can't make go away.
if only a root canal could fix that.