Sunday, January 11, 2009

quiver

"keep your chin up, but don't mind 
if your lip quivers."
(-carmen petrick, e-mail) 

the only thing about joblessness is the quivering, really.  it's not so bad, but for the uncertainty of a paycheck.  this mention from carmen (quoted) was perhaps one of the most astounding things i have read this week.  it hit me like a small child crying for attention.  you want to pay some mind to it, to assure them they are indeed cared for and uniquely important to you, however you do not want to jump too fast, thus encouraging the behavior.  

some of the things i say are like a foreign language.

in the attempt to keep my chin up, i know that it's quivering can be seen.  shockingly enough those who notice have only words of comfort and support for me.  it is a safe place to quiver, a safe bunch to walk with.  even though we all hurt each other as people do, unconditional love covers over these pains with immaculate love that is not from us, but from the father.  he is beyond capable, he is more than i can imagine.  oh love, oh lord, you have lifted me above these rising storms with your people, your love, your intimacies for my heart.  help me not to look down, but keep my quivering chin up towards your face.  oh.

3 comments:

Something Creative Here said...

so for real if you need any help this week delivering resumes or running errands or whatever, GUESS WHAT YOU'RE SO IN LUCK BECAUSE I HAVE THE WHOLE WEEK OFF :) and so far it has been shit! i'd have much more fun hanging out with you. even if it's just for coffee once to tell you about it and laugh at the irony of life.

Kinbarovsky said...

jesse and i are here for you!! please let me know what i can do. in the meantime, i'm sending positive vibes your way.

carmen said...

I'm sending positive vibes too! See you soon!