foster that hope

past three days it's been
speaking to me
everywhere i go everything i read
hear
think
breathe in.
same message
and
frankly
it's getting pretty clear
(i know, detective of the year
here)
that this tiny little speck
of ground down
run over
left in the ditch
where it landed last time

hope

needs to be heeded.
needs to be fed.
seen and held onto and fostered and
cradled.
this hope that it is around the corner
that if i
continue to move forward and continue to try
new things
and new people and new places and new experiences
and challenges (all i might not always want to try),
that this hope will still be real.
not the death inside and the fake outside
but truly a flicker
in the dark.

holding out hope for me to walk towards the light
more inward and inward and deeper
i go and to find out
it isn't all muck
the darkness
the unpleasantness
the trial and brutal same seeming result
as the other corners
but just
that i couldn't see it yet.
because it was in the darkness
but that
so is this light
this hope.

so foster it.
because this hope sees you.

and it's holding on.