i have a secret

i have a secret
and this is how is goes:
i am terrified of falling in love.
most everyone i know has done it at some point or are in it's throes as we speak
most everyone i love has loved me back
most everyone i know is scared of something
but i think i
i am the most cowardly.
for who is scared of
love?

the courage of a lion
the heart of a warrior
the eyes of a doe
the adventuresomeness of a porcupine.
that sums me up.
up
up and into this fairy tale
that floats into neverneverland where i can be safe forever and never
have to be a grown up or love to the depths and beyond.
risk giving myself over to another human being just as flawed as myself.

no no no, says me.
i would much prefer to crouch
behind those bushes over there, you see
and watch
most everyone else
fall in love.
that's good enough for me.

wait, what?  you say that's a double standard?
oh that's ok, i'm not afraid of those.
*sigh*
ok fine, i am.
nevermind the whole thing.
see, this is why i never tell you secrets.

alphabet soup

fraught forlorn

eyes enter

near now

towards together.

yea, yell

mountains made

kids kairos

beauty besot.

stolen secrets

picture possession

laughter lightly

held higher.

awaken ardent

woeful wetness

crime committed

gregarious generosity.