Monday, October 13, 2008


rizzle.  it speaks!  the words leap off my tongue and onto the screen.
how i wish i could write "paper" instead.  this life is so different, this blogging.

rizzle.  the friend who asks for a prayer, the man who asks for a flash, the stranger who asks for bread.  and i give it.  in a different way than i imagined.  in honesty and vulnerability, which really go handinhand.

rizzle.  this moment will never be repeated.  i said it today as i have said a million times before it, well perhaps a couple hundred at least: i want to live without regrets.  not at work, not in love, not in physicality, not in giving in or standing strong.  i want to live.  LIVE!

rizzle.  this ghetto speak is as close to the neighborhoods i bike through daily, as close to them a i get.  disaster.  mostly i am busy warding a smile off my face, lest i let one slip and am turned on faster than i can pedallikenotomorrow.

but there is no tomorrow.  there really isn't.  i am only promised today.  my daily bread.  i take it, greedily and without doubt that it will fill me, at least in part.  before i can think of what else i want to spend my energy on, my focus.  to give.  what would my life look like if that were my only motivation? 
i am such a selfish girl.  so silly and careless with my loved ones, my strangers, my god.  
for rizzle.

jesus, but you, YOU, you love me anyway.  love this drizzle away.