how i wish i could write "paper" instead. this life is so different, this blogging.
rizzle. the friend who asks for a prayer, the man who asks for a flash, the stranger who asks for bread. and i give it. in a different way than i imagined. in honesty and vulnerability, which really go handinhand.
rizzle. this moment will never be repeated. i said it today as i have said a million times before it, well perhaps a couple hundred at least: i want to live without regrets. not at work, not in love, not in physicality, not in giving in or standing strong. i want to live. LIVE!
rizzle. this ghetto speak is as close to the neighborhoods i bike through daily, as close to them a i get. disaster. mostly i am busy warding a smile off my face, lest i let one slip and am turned on faster than i can pedallikenotomorrow.
but there is no tomorrow. there really isn't. i am only promised today. my daily bread. i take it, greedily and without doubt that it will fill me, at least in part. before i can think of what else i want to spend my energy on, my focus. to give. what would my life look like if that were my only motivation?
i am such a selfish girl. so silly and careless with my loved ones, my strangers, my god.
jesus, but you, YOU, you love me anyway. love this drizzle away.