grief

It pulls you like a knife across an unwilling participant.
It pushes you in the middle of a song you used to embrace.
It makes you want to dance and march and parade around all your feelings
til you have none at all.
Or at least about that.
Because focus is better than that. It will take the place
Of where your joy used to sit
And hop
And hope
And highlight your moments of floating into the ceiling at the drop of a few hefty words, spoken just to you.

Disembodied, you feel, and angry and sad and all the sunflowers are not in the fields you ride by everyday. But the way that you see yourself is bigger and you're happy, true, whole.
By
yourself.

You are who you were created to be!
And don't you ever forget it.
This grief is a thing very real, very deep, and you are deep enough for it.
Pull up those bootstraps and put on your favorite scarf because it's going to be a lot of cold hard work
inside
Before you get to where you're going.

Sunflowers and dirt
trailing behind
and before.