strapped in.

you and I we swirl around this track I hope
will take us back
to the beauty whence we came.
but this time like
last time
and before
this war
I am the responder only
taking numbers like a punched phone
operator behind friendly fire
who never lets one ring by.
without a nod and a smile of
encouragement
at getting run over
and she signed up for this
her civic duty because if she can't fight
well at least she can answer phones.

they ring so painfully and at first she hopes there will be more
she can do, more to give and
support and throw herself into, anything to avoid the silence of her heart
when the ringing stops
don't stop please
when it stops
the ring of nothing
fills the space and expands the ties
and she comes undone.
because taking the calls is better than fighting the war.

but this once
she picks up a silent phone
and
dials.
it's the same roller coaster, I just strapped in this time.