the gray

it hovers almost as palpably
as the
stratus and cumulus
above me.
making me wish a cozy cup of tea and a comfy couch
could make this book all that i wanted today.

but the feeling doesn't go away,
and no matter how positive i am
that what i am doing
is right
and good
and fully me
and alive
it is similarly still

there.

and it won't go away.

for today the gray is inside
and that is worse.