the great tribulation

what does this all mean
and why must we hold up our head
when we just want to lay it all down
at your

feet.

how can i help be the hands and the
feet
of your love
when all i know to do is
hug
and
pray
and say "i'm sorry"
for the umpteenth time.

where can i
go
to take it all away to
another place
so far removed
perspective is restored
that wasn't ever even there.

all these questions god.
and all these answers.
maybe they just can't make it through the time warp.
because i know heaven isn't above the clouds any more
than you are
in the city of gold
whilst we are in the city of dirt
and you watch and laugh from above as we stumble and fall.
no, i know better.
i just don't always know what.

i do know your love is unfailing
your hand holds me when i want to let go
you never show me anything less than an offer of mercy and a good future filled with hope.
these things i know.
let me then live.
it is enough.
you are.

a path in the woods

i keep thinking i'm in a movie
or a dream
or a calendar.
or back at tarryall.
those are the only times i can reconcile this great
beauty and my participation in it.


the sounds consist of nothing but wind
through the pines and aspens, brooks
bubbling, mosquitoes humming and
birds tweeting to their kin from above.


the smells range from
musky earth to
fresh spruce to
manure on the path donated by the trail horses yesterday.
the smell of

nothing

that shouldn't be here
makes me want to jump around my comrades
yelling
"do you believe this?!
AND WE ARE IN IT!"

To my Dad on Father's Day 2011

On this day we celebrate
Those who shape and integrate
Their lives into different places
They never could have imagined.
Who they would become
To whose they would become
For others they love with all they are
To see how they become themselves
Fathers
Children
Mothers
Brothers
Wives
Sisters
Husbands
Families.

This year on this day I press before you a word: love.
Selflessness gets often used but it can never fully do what love can.
Which is unexplainable. Incomprehensible. Unreal to the human with all it's flaws and gaping holes of self.
This phenom is only witnessed once: in the love of the Father for his children. He does not love them for what they can do for him, although they are great and tender creatures, he does not love them for what they can provide for Him, because he is the ultimate Creator. No He loves them because they are His. Given as gifts
Given as life
Given from Love to love.

So Dad, this Father's Day I want you to know, that I love you at base
not because you have given me countless gifts of yourself, your soul, over my lifetime and will continue to do so as long as you live,
not because you have given me life and an invaluable outlook on living and risking and responsibility and caring for our fellow man,
not only because you have loved me unconditionally in the best way you knew how without question.
I love you because you came from Love and you live it every moment you've got.
Thank you for being my Father, just the way my soul needed.
Happy Father's Day!

i've found it.

"in the beginning god created the heavens and the earth. now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the spirit of god was hovering over the waters."

there is nothing that can explain this great mystery, no understanding i can come to.
and i feel it still.

hovering.


thanks be to god.

give me credit, credit i say!

this is my work, you know, all mine.
i mean, i thought of the idea and made it happen
all by myself.
if anyone offered to help i quickly shot them down.  if they had,
why, i'd have to share the glory.  and i'm not about to do that!

see this thing?  it's so shiny, eh?  yeah well that's cause i polished it
and sharpened it and created this new thing from the old.
well please stop being jealous, because i'm not sharing.

if you think i have no right to be this haughty you've got another
thought comin', man.  because this is what i fashioned out of what was left.
no leftovers of those for you!  i swear, if one more person asks me to drop what
i am doing to help them on their project, i will scream so loud it will bust your noise catchers!
no!  i'm not here to assist!  i'm just here for me.  me and my spear.

off into the wild i go.
no, stop following me.

rain

when the things you feel are
so right
so atypical
and you know you are at peace
step into it.

when the people seem so full
and angry all the time
so very much unrest
step into it.

when your fear grabs your throat
you can't shake it with your
might
step into it.

for these things are all
temporal and the goodness shall not last
nor the darkness and the shadows
step into it.
rain beats a new drum, an old drum.  one that will not end
rain
rain
on this dry soul.

clock's kiss

the clock ran out
my last has come
and i've known it.
what did i do to make this haiku
of my life as amazing as i felt it?

the seethe has quieted and my soul is still
weightless for once and forever.
what comes next i have no idea

pure love.


how then i feel i have so much left to do in this dirty world?
where grime and much pain abound as freely as dandelion seeds on a breeze.
why would i hold on, say, "i'm not done yet- NO!"
for
one
simple
kiss?

the times i have thought of this are many
times i have been asked what i would do if i knew my clock?
never.
but i would want to hold on, for one kiss.  so that i can know.  
what it is like on the other side.




"as i went down in the river to pray 
studying about that good old way
and who shall wear the starry crown
good lord, show me the way

sinners let's go down,
let's go down, come on down,
o sinners let's go down,
down in the river to pray "

-down in the river to pray: hymn.